communistbakery:

astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day

Is there a difference between a male and a female?

Yes, a vas deferens.

(Source: viralcircus.com)

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It is very time consuming

(Source: rosegym)

olivialaurel:

My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.

pennylaneforthoughts:

not-a-lame-dad:

Le Gogh

W H Y